Menopause and Divorce: Know the Facts!

Join us at the Celebrating 'The Change' National Menopause Awareness event on Saturday, September 30th and listen to our panels of experts and to the testimonies of women who have made it to the other side and find out how to communicate and renegotiate the terms of your relationship with your spouse.



For more information, go to https://celebratethechange2017.eventbrite.com.

Perimenopause: The Introduction

I was about 42 when I really began to notice that something with my body was different.  There was a lot going on in my life at the time. I was homeschooling my youngest daughter, preparing another daughter to get ready to go off to college, and my oldest daughter was living at home and attending school.   

Besides all of that, I was actively involved with ministry work at the church, working part-time as a freelance writer, and still trying to run a household.  At the time, I was also babysitting my granddaughter on a weekly basis.  I figured that I was under a lot of stress and I attributed some the discomfort to that.  Truth be told, my stress level definitely contributed to my physical symptoms.  But slowly, I began to realize that it was something more.

It was as if I woke up one day and I was someone else.  I went from feeling like a whole, healthy, happy person full of energy and vigor to a feeling like a shadow of myself.   My energy was gone.  I was gaining more and more weight.  I had chronic sinus headaches and allergies.  My periods were heavier than ever and I was anemic.  I was having trouble sleeping and my memory seemed to be slipping.  I was anxious and irritable and depression was starting to set in.  I felt fragile, desperate and very much out of control.

I finally paid a visit to my gynecologist and explained my symptoms to her—fatigue, weight gain, changes in the length and flow of my menstrual cycle, some night sweats—and told her that I thought that I was going through menopause.  The conversation was short.  She told me that since I was still having regular periods that I hadn’t experienced menopause, but if the symptoms persisted to come back.  I left her office feeling frustrated, alone and confused.  If this wasn’t menopause, then what was it?  

My local library turned out to be a great resource.  Over the next several months, I combed the bookshelves in search of any information that I could find on menopause. As I began to read books on the topic, I kept seeing the word ‘perimenopause’.  I had heard of menopause, but I had never heard of perimenopause. 

I continued my research via the internet and discovered that perimenopause is the time period before menopause when a woman can start to experience symptoms of “the change”.  Simply put, perimenopause is the event before the main event of menopause and the entire process could take as long as 10 to 15 years.  That made sense to me, but why hadn’t anybody told me that before?  

I started asking some of women friends who are about the same age as me whether or not they were experiencing any symptoms.  Some were apprehensive and uncomfortable about any conversation on the topic.  Most just were unaware and oblivious to the fact that anything might be going on at all and would say things like “No, you’re too young” or “That can’t be it”.   A few were curious and wondered whether that was the reason for their own symptoms.  All in all, the conversations were not encouraging. 

Some of the older women at church began to share their experiences with me when I told them about how I was feeling.  A few of the women, in particular, were very candid and this helped me tremendously.  I began to feel like I was not alone. 

 

Since that time, I have had numerous conversations with many women about "the change" and it has inspired me to write my first book entitled, A Cup Full of Hormones and a Slice of Crazy Cake.  This blog is an extension of that project and I will be sharing several of the excerpts from the book.

These past several years have been a journey and there have been times when I thought that I would not make it---times when I felt very alone and depressed.  Reaching out to other women and having them reach back has been a saving grace for me.  Hopefully, this blog will let you know that you are not alone and will be one of the ways that you can find support for your personal journey through perimenopause.